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She sits with her back to the wall. Everyone else has gone to sleep, but she feels sleep is for the weak. As though cutting isn’t.
Trembling fingers reach for her release. The shiny steel; the simple blue handle. Child’s scissors, but they do so much damage. Inflicting all this pain as a way to let go, if only for a second.
Hair falls in her eyes. Hair out, always, her curtain to hide away behind. Something solid to protect her from hurt and fear. It doesn’t do much though, these feelings still consume her; swallow her whole and then she is left, writhing helplessly amidst her worries.
First, she runs her fingers over the scars. To others, a reminder of her stupidity. To herself, remembrance of her control; the fain moment when she felt her life as her own.
The white lines run closer and closer to that cut. She’ll save that for a special day. So much to do before then…too much.
Before she plunges the blade in, she muses on the irony of it all. So many of her days are filled with emotional pain, and only through physical pain does she feel a fraction better. She gasps involuntarily as the blade slices through her skin; her body, used to the sensation, still registers the hurt she feels from the incisions.
And that hurt makes her feel good. For a single moment in time, she had control of her life, and so she cuts, again and again, just to repeat that feeling.
Salty tears mingle with her crimson blood, and it never ceases to amaze her how much blood flows in her veins. Fragile skin encasing fragile blood flowing through fragile veins.
The blood runs freely now, trickling steadily until it drops to the ground. She’ll clean it up later. When the blood stops running, she collapses, exhausted, into her bed, only to toss and turn for hours on end; plagued by the millions of thoughts that occupy her mind. A never ceasing torrent of dread…
sorry about the all too boring title
i need to assure you that this is entirely fiction, and not at all about me...i can see it running through ur minds dammit!
anyway, enjoy...hope so...
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:iconslayerchick303:
slayerchick303 Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2005  Student General Artist
:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: BRAVO! BRAVISIMO! STUPENDA! This is your best one! The act of cutting and the non-suicidal idiation, but the feeling of power that it brings to a cutter... oh how I used to know the feeling. It's like you took a page from my life. That is a compliment, by the way seeing as my life is intensely dramatic. :faint: GREAT JOB! You captured the want and the need of the phsycosis perfectly!
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:iconpictures-of-pictures:
pictures-of-pictures Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2005   Photographer
oh wow thank-you! what a response! i am glad that u said 'used to' tho, my friend :)
thank-you very much indeedy :hug:
luv imo xx
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:iconslayerchick303:
slayerchick303 Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2005  Student General Artist
Definitely a 'used to!' I'm still a screw up, but not like that anymore. Still, know that you reached somebody with it. It was wonderful! :smooch:
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:iconpictures-of-pictures:
pictures-of-pictures Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2005   Photographer
ok good :) i'm sure ur not a screw up hun :P i'm glad i reached sumbody, thank-u!
:hug: luv imo xx
ps cute emoticon
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:iconslayerchick303:
slayerchick303 Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2005  Student General Artist
I'm sure if you knew me, knew me... you'd think otherwise. But you truly did reach me. Wonderful job!




:glomp: + :flowerpot:
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:iconpictures-of-pictures:
pictures-of-pictures Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2005   Photographer
maybe, maybe not...anyway, thank-u so so much for ur lovely comments :glomp:
luv imo xx
Reply
:iconslayerchick303:
slayerchick303 Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2005  Student General Artist
You're welcome! :glomp: + :smooch:
Reply
:iconpictures-of-pictures:
pictures-of-pictures Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2005   Photographer
:D :glomp:
:hug: luv imo xx
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:iconsuspicious-butterfly:
suspicious-butterfly Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2005   Writer
*jaw drops* wow, thats amazing.
ever so sad to read such a thing.
you write so well, so descriptivly...full of emotion. great job.
love you :hug:
love ash xx
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:iconpictures-of-pictures:
pictures-of-pictures Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2005   Photographer
get ur jaw back in line missy! but thank-you :)
and ye, tis sad, n pity sad seems to make for better stories but...meh...
love you :hug:
imo xx
Reply
:iconsuspicious-butterfly:
suspicious-butterfly Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2005   Writer
ok, jaw back in place...wait *click* arr there we go. =P
hey no problem-O, thats true sad stories do always make better stories.
loving you back :hug:
love ash xx
Reply
:iconpictures-of-pictures:
pictures-of-pictures Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2005   Photographer
lol good to see it click back again :)
i say no problem-o :)
maybe i should write a happy story...and compare the feedback...hmmm...
thank-u for the love back hun :hug:
many happy returns :P luv imo xx
Reply
:iconsuspicious-butterfly:
suspicious-butterfly Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2005   Writer
do what you please...it should be great to read if you do decide to do one.
:hug:
love ash xx
Reply
:iconpictures-of-pictures:
pictures-of-pictures Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2005   Photographer
oh u r too kind...now...an idea...hmmm
:hug:
luv imo xx
Reply
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October 5, 2005
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